Lounging Piso mojado

My first thought was, "warning, lazy loungers present."  I include this one because today I realized that piso mojados actually function as a genre.  I had not realized the sheer volume of variety.   I don't know if they are worthy to be documented but on the off chance that they are, this is the place to do it.

Static discharge please

If only it was like this... Excuse me a moment while I shoot lightening from my finger tips before pumping gas.

Put your hand in the fan...

You gotta hand it to them, this one is pretty clear.

Just roll with it

Extreme Dancing

This was actually on a baby changing station in Home Depot, but it was so vaguely connected to the changing station, dancing is the first thing that came to mind.

No warnings, just a beer commercial

My brother in law was recently in a beer commerical.  I loved it and am doing my bit towards virality.

Lazy...

This isn't slipping...it's more like sunbathing...  Let's get it together stick people... Fallin' down on the job... Wait that's exactly what you're not doing.

A "Thou shalt not" feast

Went to a park in Birmingham and found a sign with a wealth of stick men hard at work.  Some of them were expected and make perfect sense, like:

No fishing...

No sleeping on a cot 

And Don't pick the flowers.  I get these... no problem, but then they start to get. Confusing....

Ok, no throwing trash, here represented by squares, on the ground...

...but then... no feeding trash to the pigeons?  And why not?  Pigeons are nasty.

Then there was this one, ok no barbecuing...

wait, THIS one is no barbecuing, so what's the other one, no rotisserie? no hibachi?

And then some classics like this one, no debonaire greetings,

And you gotta have the crucial "no steaming dog poop", I am guessing that cold dog poop is fine.  You can't fool me with this one, I know stick heat when I see it from this warning label.

Orange stickmen unite

It's a little known fact that this warning poster is the cause of much consternation in the stickman community.    

While the more brightly colored orange stickmen got nearly as many jobs as the majority regularly colored black stickmen, they were invariably cast as the "fallen ones."  This kind of stigma is common and possibly due to their redish cousins being type-casted for the ever popular  piso mojados.  Regardless, they are still professionals, note the perfect synchronization. 

The stickman that started it all

This is the warning label that launched a thousand... well actually... the warning label that launched only one rather lame blog.  Not only is this label hilariously clear in it's meaning.  I am definitely feeling a stay away vibe.  But observe the tell-no-tale stoicism of our stickman hero.  Clearly a professional, used to getting mangled in extra special nasty ways.  One last note, it's interesting to me that although the sign says "keep hands clear" his hands were largely unaffected as they ran through the geared-gauntlet.  I guess "keep elbows clear" just doesn't have the same ring to it.

Snap crackle pop effective

It doesn't need words, or explanation.  Some stickmen know their business.  

Mini warning

If you're gonna keep all of the DC metro traffic safe you might as well throw down with some miniskirt action.

Nailed it

And then there's always the epic fail.  Ignoring the words, you have to ask, where is this label going?  Stickman and triangle-wearing stickgirl specialize in gender role warnings like, "this bathroom is only for people who wear triangle dresses", since we know that all women only wear this type of clothing.  Are we saying two dimensional couples can't have more three dimensional looking babies?  Or, this product is not for use on men, women, or babies, which leaves who exactly?

Thunder thighs... Don't you dare

What is this saying?  If you have large thighs, you simply may not leave your child unattended?  I wonder if stickmen artists ever review the works of their peers.  I am recommending a study on stickman proportionality.  

Anemone anonymity

I wonder if warning label artists hope to be able to sell their work to multiple industries.  Like a stock speach or something.  This label could have carried captions like: 

"Warning sentient spaghetti".  or,

"Beware the anemone" even

"Don't handle the leeches."

When did heat become thick wavy dancing lines?...probably about the same time women became stick figures wearing triangles.

Stickmen beware

Apparently there are many ways that a dumpster can kill you.  I found all of these emblazoned on a single dumpster, I shuddered to even come near it.  The proliferation of warnings gave the impression that the dumpster just needed a small excuse to attack.  

Rotunda non grata

Partly, I am exploring the reasons why I find these warnings so funny.  This one carries no small challenge to my endeavor.  Clearly they don't want heavy people on this bouncy castle, but, that's not what the warning communicates.  It actually suggests that round body types are forbidden.  How would this play out as a spoken policy?  "I'm sorry sir, you're just too round..."   Partly this is it, the multidinious ways these pictures could be misconstrued.  So this post goes out to all you round people out there, though not welcome on this ride, you will always be welcome on my bouncy castles.

Modern piso mojado

This ain't your grandpapi's piso mojado.  Updated moves, coriographed with a partner, these stickmen brothers aren't just going down, but they are gettin down. 

Worse than electricution

This job is so hip, our hero could afford a hair style, a shirt and shoes, even if it did take a shot right in the arm pit.

The cubicle

Stickmen jobs like this are their equivalent of Cush office jobs with fat salaries, where the only expectations are, "don't wear a triangle"

To hell and back...

What did the job description for this cameo look like.  Job Description: "You will be required to dance in chest high flames, and various other tasks related."  It's the kind of label that makes you think twice before envying the stickmens' jobs.

Thank you stickman

Taken one for the team

 

Who will show us how dangerous it is to jump into the dumpster?  Our hero, stickman.

Classic piso mojado

Slippery floor?... Stickman shows us how to drop it low...